Intimacy COaching
&
Spiritual DirectioN
what I do and Why
upcoming EVENTS
Some Past Events
4 Types I work with
Erotic Malaise
People experiencing “stuckness” in their erotic, sexual, or romantic lives, who are seeking an erotic renaissance, to overcome heartbreak, to work through vulnerability issues and open themselves to intimacy, to befriend their desires, or to live more authentically.
Post-Purity
People undoing internalized sexual shame and repression, sometimes called “purity culture,” who are seeking fulfillment and a sex-positive spirituality.
Spiritual Orphans
People with almost no sense of spiritual home – either because they have minimal spiritual background, or because they have rejected what they once had… who yearn to find a grounding from which to grow in new ways.
Mystical Pilgrims
People with some depth of spirituality who want an experienced companion to support them with tools for growth, personalized theological conversation, and accountability to help them mature on their journey into the Ultimate Mystery.
My 2 Approaches
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Comrade
Picture a safe, hidden grove, staffed by a trusted gardener you visit to find peace and to process your inner life. If you choose the comrade approach, I come alongside you as a supportive companion, provide space for deep llstening, and ask searching questions to help you discern and cultivate your own inner wisdom.
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Coach
Picture a boxing coach in your corner. If you choose the coach approach, I will help you set goals and proactively hold you accountable to the commitments you have made. My style here is still caring, but is more direct, challenging, and deliberately designed to inspire you to bring out your highest, boldest, and wisest self.
about me
I am a Yale- and Dartmouth- trained systems thinker and spiritual guide. I have studied and taught extensively on the topics of spirituality, belonging/isolation, social justice, psychology, and sexuality. I’m a community builder. I’ve cultivated a large, diverse, and beautiful ecosystem of friends, co-conspirators, chosen family, and with my wife/nesting partner of 15 years, am raising two astonishing daughters.
I have a nonjudgemental presence alongside an unapologetic honesty, the ability to create safe space for authentic sharing, and I have the capacity to inspire, disrupt, guide, and support others to make liberating changes. I strive to help clients feel seen and understood, while also inviting them to confront their shadow side so that they can grow into the versions of themselves that they want to be.
My work background is in values-based community development, personal growth, and creative liberation. In 2010, I founded Valley & Mountain, a radically hospitable, multi-racial, non-dogmatic church, and passed the baton to new leadership in 2022. During that time, I also co-founded and led the Hillman City Collaboratory, a nonprofit accelerator that incubated 100+ organizations dedicated to the arts and progressive social change. During that time I authored an op-ed columnist for Real Change News, a weekly advocacy newspaper in Seattle.
Today, I work as an intimacy & relationship coach and spiritual director. I am also expanding my toolkit by working towards an advanced degree in Relationship & Family Therapy at Antioch University, with a focus in Sex Therapy. I lead retreats and facilitate workshops on healthy masculinity, replacing purity culture with pleasure culture, the nexus of spirituality and kink, and nontraditional relationship structures such as polyamory.
Spirituality and intimacy have been the defining markers of my personal journey. I have been through many upheavals in my own life in these areas, and I bring hard won life experiences to my coaching relationships. I also bring passionate practice and deep study to this work, and I know how to coach and companion others on their growth journeys.
My chief love is helping people find authenticity, freedom, pleasure, & belonging. My core values are integrity, awe, & liberation. I look forward to supporting you to discover and embody your chief love and core values too.